bio...

• I reluctantly left my mum’s womb on a cold winter’s evening in 1966 in Harrogate, a small town in North Yorkshire in England.
  
• When I was 2 I went to Norway on a ferry with my family, wearing some cheap sunglasses and a coat.
  
• I attended prep school where I excelled at Latin and was a promising cricketer.
  
• From a young age I began to spend a lot of time imagining I was someone else.
  
• In 1978 I went to the local all-boys public school, which was to play a crucial part in my lack of emotional development
  
• I fell in love with the ‘Do-It-Yourself’ ethos of punk rock, and began to make art and music without any semblance of ability.
  
• I found my spiritual home in The Ramones’ world of cretins, geeks, weirdos and pinheads.
  
• I borrowed my dad’s bass guitar and formed a band >>
  
• I got an admirable 0% in my art exam for ignoring the set questions and tracing the sleeve of the first Ruts album instead.
  
• Left school at 16 and practiced being socially inept.
  
• Moved to London.
  
• Made a valiant attempt at normality, wearing a tie and working for the Civil Service.
  
• In 1990 I returned to Harrogate just in time to suffer a breakdown.
  
• Whilst convalescing I wrote songs and made collages.
  
• I sent my bank manager some of my poetry.
  
• He took me to court.
  
• Shared my home with Schmen, the cat with skin like water.
  
• In 1994 I somehow ended up touring the world as a poet and musician.
  
• Signed a major record deal and thought I was the new Elvis.
  
• Lost the record deal and thought I was the new Satan.
  
• My old friend depression came to visit for the Millenium, and ended up staying for a couple of years.
  
• Produced over 100 collages, which I subsequently dumped at Feltham tip for no apparent reason.
  
• In 2004 I began to train as an integrative arts psychotherapist.
  
• Presently toying with the idea of wearing a cape.
  
  
  Reasons to Live >> and Reasons to Die >>